Your Saturn Card (and its Higher Octave, the Cosmic Lesson Card)

💡 My experience with mine isn’t what the books say. Ima talk about it.

This past November I visited NYC for the first time. I (brattily, and fearfully even) had written off NYC over a decade ago. I just thought i’m good, I never need to visit, I don’t wanna.

My room in Williamsburg. The coziest. But I’d wake in the morning expecting to see my cat lol. The staff was so friendly, I can’t wait to come back.

But then I noticed my favorite comedians were hanging out there developing their work. And a burgeoning clown scene with leaders whose messages I greatly resonate with, for once, kept putting on events that energetically felt and sounded home-like.

More to the topic, my friend lives there. We’ve kept in touch for the past 4 years since we met in an online non-fiction comedy writing class. I zoomed in from Ohio while she and most of the students were in NYC.

We bonded in our Zoom breakout sessions. She’d read her travel essays, I read my unhinged poems about heartache, and we gave each other notes. But what sealed the deal was our connection over the witchy and woo.

Not long after the class ended we swapped our enchantress gifts - I gave her an akashic record reading and she gave me my first ever reiki healing session (she’s a master healer - I still can’t believe my session with her, I’ll describe it over in the footnotes*.)

But wait there’s more. I have another friend in NYC. We met in 2018 because we got the same scholarship to study with a clown in Maine. I was touched when she promoted my first solo show in 2020 on socials and invited me into her comedy project. She’s far more experienced in the performer world, which I barely entered back in 2016, so our connection means a lot to me - I’m honored someone I value and respect likes me back.

I didn’t think much of it at first, but these two friends are my Saturn and Cosmic Lesson cards. I’ll explain why that matters.

And I’ll interject to say: I don’t make friends easily.

My 2020 clown show poster. I was so excited to perform it in person but had to pivot to digital because of covid. I thought of “In My Room” before we were all in our rooms - just a weird coincidence I guess.

That’s what my first clown show was about (a friend-less ghoul lol!). I guess it’s my karma, idk. Growing up, my friends moved away or I moved away. People stay in my life for a brief time. I had a “friend” put a spell on me 3 years ago and I never heard from her again. She didn’t come forward to tell me about the problem she had. I threw out all the paintings she gifted me or bought from her, I had no choice. Anyway, I digress.

2018 was the only time my clown friend and I ever saw each other. And even then, we didn’t talk much during our clown studies because we clowns are crazy. We get absorbed in our material development and workshopping our bits. She sincerely invited me to stay at her place in LA to visit the clowns there. I never took her up on the offer, but I knew she meant it.

So - one day at the gym (stick with me, this is all connected), while I’m lifting weights my inner voice tells me things would be less difficult if I just did what I love and fear most (clown). It felt like an important transmission. Later that night, I saw an IG reel from a NYC clown about accessing our inner child - music to my ears. Hours later, my clown friend messaged me out of nowhere. We hadn’t talked in months, she said I popped into her mind and she wanted to see how my clown stuff was going (slow like molasses).

Long story short, she invited me to come out in November and see her clown show. She’s invited me before, but there’s always been resistance in my life. So many actual, tangible, energetic blocks that I’m pretty sure I agreed to come into this incarnation to clear.

So off I went, lured by clown, as I always am when I travel, to the Big Apple. My first flight since 2018. I’ve changed and healed so much since then (I’ll mention details on that in time), so this was a big deal for me. I had the best time, made new friends, fell in love with NYC, and did an impromptu clown workshop for the first time in 6 years. I was thrilled to see how calm my nervous system was while I performed.

I don’t do things unless I feel an exciting swirl of energy in my body, that’s my signal there’s something positive to uncover.

But also - here’s the meat of this post - my 2 NYC friends are my Cosmic Lesson cards. One of them is both my Saturn and Cosmic Lesson (and the other is the same natal sun/moon/life path number as me!).

I knew they were teaching me something, that the universe was working through them to keep me in tune. And maybe, in some way, I do the same for them. There’s a sweetness to how we connect that I don’t take for granted for a second.

My teachers say your Saturn Card is unpleasant, it’s gonna restrict you or make you feel uneasy. If the Cosmic Lesson card is a higher octave of Saturn, that must mean it’s even more unpleasant huh?

But no, these are friends I trust. They’re a form of stability for me. They open up pathways that wouldn't have occurred to me. And it’s mutually beneficial, which is all the more fulfilling. They’ve helped shape how I stay in touch with myself and community. I’m deeply grateful.

Take a look at the people in your life, what card are they to you? Are they your Saturn? Your Cosmic Lesson? Jupiter, perhaps? Who is guiding you, and who are you guiding in return?

This is what my crystal looks like. (Image via museandmoonstone.) Chrysocolla aids powerful expression via your voice and actions. It’s got some divine feminine vibes and helps with apprehension in speaking from the heart.

*My reiki healer friend conducted the session via phone, no video. She knew nothing about what I was doing/wearing/etc. She did a great job, I could feel the healing shift in my body. At the end of our sesh, she asked me about the heavy rock she felt on my throat. I didn’t tell her I put my giant, un-tumbled, Chrysocolla crystal there to help my throat chakra. Unreal.

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